My teenager says public speaking coaching is embarrassing. How do I get them to try it?

At 14 or 15, being told you need help with how you talk can feel personal. Most of the resistance is about what signing up seems to say about them.

What tends to work

1. Start from their goal. Ask what is coming up that they care about: a debate tournament, student council, a driving test they are anxious about, a job interview, college applications. Coaching is preparation for that.
2. Frame it as training. Athletes, performers and CEOs all have coaches. Having one is what people who are good at something do.
3. Give them control. Let them choose the goal, the topics and the coach if possible. Agree that you will not sit in.
4. Make it a trial. "Try one free session. If you hate it, we drop it." A low-stakes first step is easier to say yes to.
5. Keep it private. Online 1-on-1 means no classmates find out unless they choose to tell them.

What tends to backfire

• Bringing up a presentation that went badly as the reason.
• Comparing them to a sibling or friend who "speaks so well."
• Signing them up without asking and announcing it at dinner.

Many teens who were reluctant at the start end up liking coaching once they find a coach they get along with, often someone only a few years older who has competed in debate or speech themselves.