What if my child won't talk to the coach in the first session?

A new adult, a camera, and the word "public speaking" is a lot for a shy child. Going quiet is a normal first reaction. It does not mean coaching will not work or that your child is not ready.

What a good coach does

• Talks first. The coach shares something about themselves and asks nothing for the first few minutes.
• Offers easy choices. "Cats or dogs?" "Show me your favourite thing in your room." Answers can be a word, a nod or holding something up.
• Follows your child's interests. A student who will not talk about school will often talk about Minecraft, horses or their little brother.
• Keeps it short. The goal of session one is that your child leaves thinking "that was fine." A speech can wait.

How parents can help

• Before the session, describe it as "meeting a coach who does fun talking games," and avoid the word "test."
• Tell the coach in advance what your child loves talking about.
• Stay nearby for the first few minutes if your child wants you there, then step out of frame.
• Afterward, ask "what was the coach like?" and skip "did you talk?"

Most shy students open up within the first two or three sessions with the same coach. If your child talks freely at home but consistently cannot speak to anyone at school or with other adults, mention it to your pediatrician. That pattern can be a sign of selective mutism, which is different from shyness. Our guide to helping a shy child with public speaking covers the difference.