5 Exercises For A Shy Child: Build Confidence, Empowerment and Courage
Is your child shy?
Do they have difficulty expressing themselves in social situations?
Every parent wants their child to feel comfortable, happy, and confident, whether that’s in social or academic environments. You know how great your child is, and you would like the world to see it too! It’s important to note that shyness is not a negative trait–in fact, it often demonstrates sensitivity and thoughtfulness. However, by developing their confidence we can open them to new opportunities and challenges that come their way. With a little patience and encouragement, your child can feel comfortable enough to let their true self shine.
From small challenges to creating supporting environments, in this post you will find practical ways to help improve your child’s confidence. Each tip is designed to help your child take brave steps in a way that feels safe and encouraging to their learning process. Remember, confidence takes time, and with little by little your child will grow closer to being more at ease with the world around them.
1. Embrace Their Shyness
Let’s get the important thing out of the way, shyness is completely normal. Lots of kids (and even adults!) get a feeling of uncertainty and awkwardness around new people or unfamiliar environments. The key is to accept this as part of who they are right now.
Try not to call them “shy” with others around, they may start to see this as a defining quality or as part of their personality. Instead, bring out what makes them unique:
“You’re a great listener!”
“You have a wonderful way of noticing things that other people might not notice.”
“You’re very brave for trying new things, even if it feels uncomfortable.”
Research suggests that words of affirmations go a long way, at a young age children are able to better develop their sense of confidence and emotional well-being (Farrell, 2021). Let them know shyness is okay and that their friends feel it sometimes too.
2. Show Them How It's Done
From research conducted by Michigan University, children pick up on so much just by watching us (2023)! If they see you interacting with others, whether that’s through a thoughtful exchange or a simple “hello”, they learn it is safe to do the same. Model calm and friendly behavior in social situations, and encourage your child to do the same.
Example: At the playground or park, say “hello” to other parents. Begin by introducing your child: “Hi! This is my son, Jamie. It’s nice to meet you.” Seeing you interact warmly with others can help them feel comfortable in doing so as well.
Example: Encourage your child to watch you. If they have a hard time asking for something at the store or a restaurant, show them and explain to them as you go: “Watch me, I’m going to ask if they can bring us some extra napkins. It’s very easy, and the server will be happy to help.”
Show them that it’s okay to greet people, ask questions and laugh at little mistakes. By showing your child that these small and friendly habits aren’t as scary as we make it out to be you’re giving them the tools to try it out on their own.
3. Practice Together with Role-Playing
Role-playing is a gentle and fun way to help your child practice social skills. Usually you can act out certain situations at home or bring toys, like a cashier station, to help simulate a real life experience. Make it fun, and silly! Let your child take the lead so they can build a sense of independence and feel more in control of the situation.
Example: For kids that are anxious to talk to others, you can role-play asking to join your game at a playground. Have them ask you “Can I play too?” or “Hello, what game are you playing?”
Example: If they feel shy about introducing themselves, practice different games where the child introduced themselves. Set up a pretend restaurant at home, and have the child play serve, so they could say: “Hello! My name is Jamie, and I will be your server today.”
When they practice these scenarios ensure a safe space, laugh along with them and make different scenarios special.
4. Celebrate the Effort, Not Just the Outcome
Shy kids can often feel a little more sensitive to “mistakes” in social situations. If your child makes an effort to overcome their shyness, make the effort to celebrate it. Even if they completed the task or got halfway through but became too nervous. By showing that trying is the important part it will reinforce the idea that its okay to stumble. They will be more likely to try it again, especially when they know that you are proud of their effort.
“I saw you wave at your friend, great job on being friendly!”
“You went over and joined that group of kids, thats awesome. I know it can be scary but you did really well.”
“I saw that you tried to ask for a napkin from the server. That was really brave of you, do you want to try together next time?”
5. Enrol Them in a Public Speaking Program
Try a free class with a program like TalkMaze. Learning strategies from a coach can often help children step out of their comfort zone. Under the proper guidance, it will also aid students in polishing their communication and critical thinking skills which are applicable to various environments, such as school or their social circle. For debate-preparing, preparing a presentation, or even merely participating in class discussions- TalkMaze is here to watch your child grow through out their public speaking journey.
Don’t wait to see the difference— sign up now and give your child the tools they need to succeed.
Bringing It All Back
Helping a shy child grow more confident can take time, its a new journey for them, and one that you must take at their pace. The child should feel supported every step of the way, whether that’s through gentle guidance or encouragement, you are their pillar of support. Remember to celebrate the small and the big, each step is an incredible milestone and its these moments that truly add up for them. In time, your child will find their footing and discover that they are absolutely capable of handling any social or academic situation that comes their way, while still maintaining their unique and wonderful self!
References:
Carrie Shrier, M. S. U. E. (2023, February 23). Young children learn by copying you!. MSU Extension. https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/young_children_learn_by_copying_you
Farrell, G., & Sox, D. . (2021). Positive Affirmations and Their Effect on Children’s Moods in an Elementary Classroom. Journal of Student Research, 10(3). https://doi.org/10.47611/jsrhs.v10i3.1715
